so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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