the day after is always just damage control
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
