i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He? As in you personified your dick?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
