i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
