so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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