I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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