I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
