Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
