Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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