Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
