Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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