I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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