Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
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I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
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I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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