Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
how does that bad decision feel?
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