You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
