i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
