Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
