If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
