How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
