You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
