I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
