I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I want to have your abortion
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
