last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
