Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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