It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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