my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
