god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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