all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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