What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
