Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
