babies were throwing up all over the place
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
