Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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