She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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