at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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