she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
