If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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