As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
