I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
