Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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