its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
