put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
