My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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