I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
