i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
