There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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