none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
