her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
