whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my shit smells like andre
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
