Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
