69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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