Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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