yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
