You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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