It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You left your phone here
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