Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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