but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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