If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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