I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am one with the molecules
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
