I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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