Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize